I Like Big Butts and I Cannot Lie

Here's a word of advice: if you come down to South Florida for their top notch, state of the art cosmetic surgery, it helps if you have a doctor do it. They're easy to find. Their billboards are all over the place; breast enhancements, nose jobs, liposuction, and--I'm not kidding--they even advertise back to school specials, and graduation presents for your kids! Yes, nothing tells your daughter how proud you are like a breast enhancement procedure (though to be fair, these surgeons are usually advertising nose jobs as gifts for your kids, though that isn't any better.). Point is, licensed, board certified, competent surgeons that won't cause you undue duress, are easy to find down here.

Nevertheless, there are plenty of black market surgeons ready to cash in. Now, you'd think they're charging backroom prices for backroom procedures, right? Wrong. This brings me to what I am here to warn you, the general public about. A dear lady--or rather a man who identifies as a woman--known as the "Goddess", or as her victims call her, the "Duchess" has been dubbed by police and media sources as the "Toxic Tush Doctor". Her real name is Oneal Ron Morris and through Miami-Dade and Broward counties, she has been providing buttock injections for about $3000 to $4000.

Since May 2009, her "practice" has been haunting Motel 6s all over South Florida and now she faces five counts of practicing medicine without a license and causing severe injury. Using a pedialyte bottle filled with a substance that she assured her victims was silicone, she pumped these lady's asses with a concoction of Fix-a-Flat, super glue, and mineral oil. Even better, if you got a real doctor to do it right, you'd pay about the same, except without the respiratory problems that nearly killed one victim, or the rotten butt that Ophelia Parker dealt with (upon calling Morris to address the problem, Morris told her to bleach the blackened areas of her buttocks). Lournise Linton of Tampa had pneumonia and found a chunk of bathroom caulk stuck in her lungs. All of these women paid for the proceedurs costs ranging from $1000 in one case and in all other cases, from $3000 to $4000. Seriously, you can find a real doctor and get this done with real silicone for $4250.00 by a doctor that'll take care of you in a real office and not a Motel 6.

If you can afford to pay Morris, then you surely can afford to pay a real doctor. Be on alert for this scammer that usually shows up to appointments wearing nurses garb and photo ID. Every time she gets busted, she is out the next day on bond. She is at large, literally. Take a look at the photo. What happened? Did someone shove a medicine ball up her ass or what?