Monday, February 11, 2013

Meet Mrs and Mr PublishAmerica

There is no need to parody these people. They are a parody of themselves. Mr. and Mrs. PublishAmerica? Really? Of course there is no Mr. Random House just like nobody employed by PUBLISHAMERICA has a surname as such...and no Meiners, we are not buying into your fictitious and fraudulent Facebook profile "Amelia PublishAmerica." If you are so bleeding proud of your association to this printer, then why not post from your profile using your REAL AND LEGAL NAMES??? Hmmmmmm?
My favorite quote here is this
When we ask our authors what's their number one
reason for coming to the convention, the answer is, "to meet
PublishAmerica staff." That's a load of BS. These people aren't paying to attend a meet and greet (which most companies offer for free mind you) they are paying the money
to attend because they are lead to think that they will be given important, publishing insider
information that they can use to make some money from selling their books.
But the only people who will ever make any money are Mr. and Mrs. PublishAmerica aka Mrs. Starbucks coffee barista and Mr. Flea market junk seller.

Good morning:

Who is your publisher? Not: is it PublishAmerica or Random House?
But: who is PublishAmerica? And is there even a Mr. Random House?
I know the answer to the latter. We have had people on our staff who
had been working for Random House, but that's not surprising. Random
House has a giant operation only a few miles down the road from
PublishAmerica. They're the largest private employer in Maryland.
There are many Messrs and Mmes Random House, and they're good people.
As for PublishAmerica, click on the video link you see on the left.

By the way, that still image you see is the face of Denise Pickett.
>She'll come to life as soon as you start the 5-minute video. Denise
>is responsible for our ebook production. She is our resident expert
>on Kindles and Nooks, and she'll give a presentation about it during
>our Authors Convention in Gettysburg tomorrow. Denise's favorite spot
>in the world is Niagara Falls. She grew up in Buffalo, that's why.
>Her favorite food is her dad's idea of lasagna. And she loves her
>You'll also meet Anthony Saavedra in the video. Tony is an art
>designer, with some 7,000 book covers under his belt. His favorite
>spot is Vermont, where his grandparents used to live. He likes blue
>crabs. Though he has been on our team for almost a decade we have yet
>to convince him to bring his guitar to work. Anthony plays and sings
>with the best of them.
>Don't blink, because she says only one word in the video ("Hawaii"),
>and she'll be gone before you know: Suzette Brabham who's on our
>Special Services team. Steamed shrimp. Tropical beaches. But when you
>ask her what's really, really her favorite place, she'll say it's
>home, where her children are.
>You're getting the drift? You'll see Tina Shipe, also in a flash. She
>manages two departments. Loves Florida, hates bees and spiders. Tina
>is a licensed scuba diver. You will hear from Michelle Graves who has
>illustrated many children's books ("It's free. Pretty awesome.") for
>us. Loves Florida too, hates all creepy things underwater. Chipotle
>and wings are her favorites. And, yes, we do illustrate our
>children's books for free.
>There are others: Gail Augustine, our conventions manager who loves
>her horses and who has a remarkable history as a car rental company
>owner in California. Operations manager Bryan Winfrey who sells wines
>in weekends, who's getting married in a few months, and who according
>to our female staffers is an awkward dancer. And you'll see me, but
>you already know a whole lot about me.
>Where am I going with this?
>Special advertisement,
>click on this cover,
>only $9.95 today!

>To Gettysburg, Pennsylvania. Tomorrow we're hosting this year's first
>Authors Convention. When we ask our authors what's their number one
>reason for coming to the convention, the answer is, "to meet
>PublishAmerica staff."
>We're well aware that most of you are really curious to know who we
>are. Who are the Mmes and Messrs PublishAmerica? In an era where
>communication is by email (no handwriting on an envelope, no sender's
>address label) you don't even know if the people you're communicating
>with are in Baltimore or in Bangalore, in New York or in New Delhi.
>Is the woman who answers the phone at PublishAmerica in Maryland or
>is she in Manila?
>Well, our conventions help to answer such questions, and so does this
>video. PublishAmerica is Made in America. Made on Main Street,
>America. Regular people, your neighbors. They love their country.
>They love their authors.
>If you live close enough to historic Gettysburg, make the drive and
>come and see us tomorrow in downtown hotel Gettysburg. Click on the
>convention banner on our homepage for directions. It's Lincoln's
>birthday, there's a birthday cake. Watch how friendships develop.
>Between authors, and between authors and PublishAmerica staff.
>This is why we go on the road. From one region to the next. We know
>you want to get to know us. We want to get to know you, too. So we're
>coming to you. We're the only publisher in America who makes this
>effort. Imagine that. The only one.
>So that we can say:
>Good to see you. Nice meeting you!
>I invite you to talk back to me. I don't guarantee a response, but I
>do guarantee that we listen. You can reach me by email at
> -
> . In the subject
>line write Attn. Willem.
>Have a wonderful day!
>--Willem Meiners
>If you want to rent space in one of Willem's Letters-from-the-CEO, go
HTTP:// Have your book portrayed
>for tens of thousands of people to see in Willem's letter AND on
>You can read this letter also online here:
> -

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